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And if you really feel strongly about it, you choose to take a hard line on this stuff — but you’ve got to do that with the understanding that there’s a trade-off you’ll be making in terms of how you’re perceived …and not just in social/cliquish kind of ways (which you might not care about), but in ways that can have a real impact on your career.For instance, you could explain that you’re running errands at lunch, or like to spend that time walking and decompressing, or that you usually read at lunch.And you have to say in a way that still sounds friendly.
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Having lunch with a boss, whether you like them or not, means you have to be “on.” I’d like to spend my lunches doing what I want.
How can I say no without alienating my coworkers and boss?
It’s an investment in your relationships at work, can that can pay off in terms of your professional relationships, ability to get things done in your office, networking when you leave this job, and the way you’re perceived.
And yes, it might feel annoying that you have to do that, but some relationships work that way, and it’s in your interests to recognize that reality. Are her invitations only occasional, or is she suggesting lunch regularly?